I AM Choosing Who Gets My Time

Last week, we started a new Motivation Monday series on the I Am Circle membership on Patreon called I AM Reclaiming My Peace, where we talked about taking back our time. We looked at creating more structure, putting our phones down, protecting our mornings and evenings, and becoming more intentional about how we spend our days.

This week, I wanted to take that conversation one step further. Because the peace we feel in our life isn't just about what we are doing with the time we have. It's also about who gets our time. The people we spend time with, the places we spend time in, and the things we allow into our minds can all influence the life we are creating.

People, Places and Things

There is a concept that has stayed with me for years: You are the people, places and things you surround yourself with. Jim Rohn popularized the idea that we are greatly influenced by the people we spend the most time with. While I don't believe we should take the idea that we're literally the "average" of five people as a scientific fact, there is something valuable in the question behind it:

Who and what are influencing the person you want to be?

Our environment can influence what feels normal to us. It can affect our habits, our mindset, how we spend our time, and even what we believe is possible for our lives. I've had to take a hard look at this in my own life.

I Got Lost in the Hustle

A few years ago, I found myself surrounding myself with high-ticket entrepreneurs both online and in person, who were constantly creating, producing, launching, selling, and building something new. The message was always about doing more. Create another offer. Write another book. Build another program. Launch another retreat. Keep growing. Keep producing.

And for a while, I got caught up in it. I started to believe that I needed to keep creating and producing in order to be successful. I was always thinking about the next thing I could make or build. But eventually, I realized something.

I didn't need to write another book. I didn't need to build another class. I didn't need to host another retreat.

What I needed was to slow down and actually start enjoying my life. What I was creating wasn’t lining up with my values as a 49-year-old woman. Some of the goals I was chasing were still connected to the woman I was in my 30s. They didn't necessarily reflect the woman I was becoming as I approached 50.

That was a really important realization for me.

Sometimes we surround ourselves with people who are successful and inspiring, but their definition of success may not be our definition of success. Someone else's dream might be working 70 hours a week and building a huge company and you’re dream is to have more time being with your family and buding a business that gives you that freedom, not a business that takes you away from your family.

Neither is wrong.

The question you might want to ask yourself is: Is the life you're building actually aligned with your internal values?

That question changed a lot for me when my business coach gave me a values assessment to complete. Because reclaiming your peace isn't always about removing people from your life. Sometimes it's about recognizing if the environment you're in is encouraging you to live according to values or values that no longer feel like your own.

You are allowed to change. You are allowed to want something different. And you are allowed to decide that more isn't always better.

Sometimes more peace comes from wanting less.

Your People Matter

Take a look at the people closest to you and ask yourself: How do I feel after spending time with them? Do you generally feel supported and energized, or do you regularly leave feeling drained? You don't have to label people as toxic or cut everyone out of your life. Sometimes the answer is simply spending less time in relationships that drain you and more time with people who support the person you want to become.

Your Places Matter Too

Where we spend our time matters. Maybe there are places that bring out the best in you. Nature, the gym, an art class, a spiritual community, a favorite coffee shop, or someone's home where you always leave feeling inspired. And there may be other places that pull you back into habits or behaviors you're trying to change. Sometimes changing your environment can make changing your life a little easier.

And Then There Are Things

Today, we have to include something that didn't exist in quite the same way when many of us were growing up: our phones. Social media, the news, television, podcasts, emails, and the people we follow online are constantly putting information into our minds. You may not physically spend time with someone, but you might spend an hour every morning listening to them or watching their content.

So ask yourself:

How do I feel after consuming this information? Some of the business podcasts I was listening to, made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough and if I just followed this trend and do what they were doing, I would have more success. I would get done listening and feel overwhelmed and that my things-to-learn list just grew by 10 more things I would have to do if I wanted to have success like them.

Sometimes reclaiming your peace means unfollowing something, turning something off, or simply deciding, I don't need this in my head today.

Peace Is Not Isolation

There is another side to this conversation that is important. Reclaiming your peace does not mean shutting everyone out. Healthy solitude can be restorative, but we also need connection. We need laughter, conversation, belonging, shared experiences, and people we can turn to. If you've become isolated, stayed home more, or pulled away from people because being alone feels easier, start small.

Text someone you haven't talked to in a while. Invite someone for coffee. Take a class. Join a walking group. Volunteer. Find a community centered around something you enjoy. You don't have to build an entirely new social life overnight. One small connection can lead to another. Peace is not isolation. It's creating healthy connections without losing yourself in the process.

What kind of lifestyle do you want to live?

As we get older, our priorities change. What we wanted in our 20s or 30s may not be what we want today.

That's not failure.

That's growth.

Instead of asking, "Who or what do I need to get rid of?" try asking:

Who or what do I need more of in my life?

Who inspires you? Who encourages you? Who makes you laugh? Who supports the lifestyle you want to lead?

Sometimes creating a new life isn't about subtraction.

It's about addition.

Your Peace Practice

This week, take a few minutes to look at your own People, Places and Things. Notice who you're spending your time with, where you're spending your time, and what you're consuming. Then ask yourself: Is my environment supporting the life I say I want?

And finally:

What do I need more of?

More creativity? More nature? More connection? More laughter? More quiet? More adventure? You don't have to change everything.

Just start noticing. Because awareness is often the first step toward change. I've learned that reclaiming your peace isn't about controlling everyone around you. It's about becoming more intentional about what you give your time, attention, energy and spirit to.

And remember: People, places, and things are a reflection of the life you're living. So take a look around. Does your environment support the person you want to be?

Our affirmation for this week is: I AM choosing who gets my time.